It is so cold when you have a cold….

Monkey (cough, cough) out….

Hello everyone.
I hope you have all enjoyed your VD. Remember VD doesn’t last forever, so you must make the most of VD while you have it. I like to feel the VD within, so warm, sometimes even burning. Then when I’m around those that I love, I share with them the joy of VD. I encourage others in this fashion so that we might spread VD throughout the world, and not simply regulate it to a single day.

A what disease? No, no, no. I was talking about Valentine’s Day, itchy, oozing, infectious Valentine’s Day.

Love,
Monkey

So here it is. A new year….What? That was last month?….Well, what if I’m Chinese!

Whatever. The monkey will be taking over this site. Spunko just couldn’t keep up, running from the law and several ex-wives. Not to mention all the crazed fans. I encourage you to mention any Spunko-related news, sitings, facts, trivia. As long as Spunko is remembered, he is not dead.

In other news, I’m in small town, North Carolina. Not too bad. A step up from small town, Arkansas where I was, but not quite New York City, where I will be in about a week. So, if any of the three people who check this site know of anything I don’t, going on in the city, post it.

Monkey out….

Upon a recent visit to the Altamonte Mall, I saw a large man in red pants making his way through the food court, swilling the juice from trays of bourbon chicken left behind on the tables. Recalling the helpful mugshot posted on this site, I was reasonably sure it was Spunko. I tried to follow him to confirm my suspicions, but I lost him in Sears. When I heard the screams nearby, I headed toward the commotion that ended up being the Family Portrait Studio. I arrived too late and could only see the man being taken to a restricted access area by security. Left behind, however, was a clue to what had transpired. On a monitor was a digital preview of the last portrait taken: Two toddlers dressed as elves sat in the foreground and behind them loomed the mystery man’s enormous white buttocks, the red pants resting around his ankles.

Spunko was sighted tonight in one of the best restaurants in Louisville, KY, Ramsis’ Cafe. It’s still unsure if he was there for the food or the ladies, but one thing’s for sure, he loved the cream stout.

For those few who don’t know, Spukno was the preeminant wrestler-turned-model. He paved the way for The Rock, Chyna, and Britney Spears. He was a pioneer and like most trailblazers, he was misunderstood. The world wasn’t ready for his brand of wrestling inspired modelling and fast lifestyle. Tragically, before the public recognized his transcendence, he died choking on a deep fried candy bar.

However, like all the greats (Elvis, Bigfoot), Spunko has been sited all over the country after his death. The Weekly World News reported Spunko, working alongside Batboy, as a moonshine salesman in Beaver Dam, Kentucky. But just two days after that article was published a man was arrested in Wadsworth, Nevada for public intoxication and assault at a children’s soccer game. Could this be Spunko?

My cousin Gabriel has unleashed the awesome power of Spunko on the world through this amazing site. He has no idea the evil he has wrought upon the earth, but it’s such pretty packaging.